Rachel's Adventures in India

August 04, 2000

August 04, 2000

By this time, I'm sure that everyone is thinking that I must have died of  malaria.  I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to write this first  (introductory) letter.

Let me start by saying that India. while culturally rich, tropically  vegetated, and poverty-stricken isn't nearly as different from the United  States as I thought it might be.  The kids dress in western clothes and use  western slang.  When we go for parties (in the daytime of course), we dance  just as I did at Rotary functions in the states.  I feel very much as if I'm  in my own home.

I've never lived in a city before, so the people and the movement  continually amazes me.  The kids here seem to worry that I may be bored with  this "small town life" because "things aren't so developed here" they say.   I'm not at all bored, and there is no way that I can bring myself to  consider Nagpur (with a population of over 28 lacks/2.8 million people) a  small town.

My first few days were strange.  I had cried when I left. it came over me  all of a sudden as my father was holding me and trying to convince me that  he had a good feeling about my leaving for a year.  Natalie, my sister,  wouldn't even look at me.  When I got to the international airport in Mumbai  (Bombay) three days later, and went to the restroom (which was a hole in the  ground), I had an alarming sense of realization that I was in a foreign  environment.

Mumbai was beautiful.  There were palm trees.  My family's uncle (my host  mother's sister's husband or Mausaji) had picked me up at the airport.  I  tried to get in on the driver's side of the car. they drive on the left.   They had so many servants. servants for the elevator, the front doors,  cleaning, cooking, washing clothes, and making beds. a different servant for  each task.

I feel much more at home in Nagpur. it's not quite so busy and hectic.  I've  really become quite close to my family-especially my sister, Kanika, who  will be going to Ohio soon.  They speak English at home. English mixed with  Hindi.  Sometimes they go off in Hindi, loudly and emotionally.  I don't  understand the words, but I can make out what they mean.  They only talk to  the servants in Hindi.  The servants are also bilingual.  They speak Marathi  between themselves, but since the upper class doesn't speak Marathi, Hindi  is the language that they converse in to their employers.

I made friends with one of the servants.  Her name is Sharda.  She's only  eighteen, and she speaks a little English, so she was trying to teach me  Hindi.  We had started with the alphabet, but she's left now with her  sister.  I don't think that she'll be coming back.  Her sister seemed to  need her at home.

It was through Sharda, that I really began to have true sympathy for the  servant class.  She's such a bright young girl. really smart and funny.  I  walked outside one night to find her brushing her teeth with something  black/brown.  "Kia? (What)" I asked her.  She held out her hand, which  contained some of the stuff.  I touched my finger to it and put my finger in  my mouth.  What a kick!  The flavor was so strong, it almost knocked me  over.  After a game of charades, I got her to show me its container.  It was  a small tin with Hindi letters all over it.  I searched the can for and  English explanation, and found "tobacco".

She will be a servant all her life, because she doesn't have any money for  further education (they don't have scholarship/financial aid/ student loan  programs).  And even if she did get an education, there are so few job  openings.  My papa says that for every good job, there are 1,000 applicants!

A person must stay within the limitation of their class.  Kids from the  upper classes cannot have part-time jobs.  When I told my sisters that  several of my friends have part-time jobs. that some work at a cinema hall.  they almost fell over.  "And you're friends with them!" The servants aren't  educated past the tenth standard (grade), and only that if they're lucky.   The upper class girls are educated. but not too highly.  If a girl obtains a  high education, it's difficult to get her a husband. the husband doesn't  want to feel inferior.  Most of the upper class girls will have their  marriage arranged by their parents, work at home, and never use their  education.  The lower class girls could never hope for so much.  They work  all day long for the equivalent of $1 a day. which would be a really nice  salary.

ON THE OTHER HAND: there are countless ways in which their society is much  better than ours.  The arranged marriage, for example, works really well.   Just think if your whole family approved of the prospective fiancée before  you ever even met him.  The girl, of course, always gets the final say, but  before he is even considered by her, everything else is already settled.   The family makes sure that his family has the same morals and principals  that they uphold.  They make sure that he has enough money to support their  daughter.  They make sure that he's been well educated, that he has  ambition, talent, intelligence, and physical prowess. everything.  All  that's left is for the girl to say "yes".  Because there is so much family  support from beginning until death.  Because the marriage isn't merely. "I  fancy you because you're (fill in the blank).  Because the marriage isn't  just about those two people that have "fallen in love".  Because the  relationship is not selfish, but purposeful (to continue the family), they  have nearly 100% success rate with marriages.  Divorce, while legal, is  almost unheard of.

The family ties here are much stronger.  They eat all of their meals  together, they take time to talk to each other, they don't give their  children their own rooms where they can close themselves off from the rest  of the family. the family is important.  And it shows.

The people here are struggling to become a "developed nation".  But it will  be a difficult struggle.  The divisions between the classes and the huge  population make it hard enough. but to think what they would be giving up is  painful.

In the market, I found a soap called "Fair Glow" promising to make skin  three shades lighter in only 15 washes.  How ironic. I thought of our  tanning beds and self-tanners in the U.S.A.  It was funny. :p> :p>

And so I see how the grass always seems greener.  How we (in the U.S.)  complain of a loss of family values, teenage pregnancy, gangs, illicit  drugs, pre-marital sex, and school shootings---which are all results of the  first.   They (in India) complain that they aren't free to pursue their own  dreams, to be their own person, make their own decisions, pick their career  (but not because the government doesn't allow it).  If one were to become  the other, the problems would be the same on opposite sides.  And if there  is a happy medium to be found, it will be a difficult search.  India is  already feeling the corruption of the western world: commercialism, material  wants, greed.  There is much to be learned form their tradition,  spirituality, pacifism, and their supportive, loving, if conservative  families.

In the meantime, I'm learning how to dance (Kathuk), tie saris, speak Hindi,  put mandi (henna), and yoga.  I've been to see their movies (we would call  them musicals), and it's great fun.  I got to ride a camel and an auto  rickshaw (kind of like a taxi).   And I am really developing a taste for tea  made out of milk (chai) and Indian sweets.